Today I watched the video from The Atheist Voice titled “36 Questions I’d Like to Ask God.” Mostly they’re the standard questions we’d expect atheists to ask in order to make a point about certain religious absurdities. Afterwards, however, I thought about the concept—asking God questions—and I said to myself, “What kinds of questions would I ask an all-powerful and all-knowing entity?” So here’s my list of 36, devoid of religious questions:

1. What is “dark matter”? [hands down, number one question]
2. How could Napoleon have defeated the coalition at Waterloo?
3. What are the mechanisms behind a cat’s purr?
4. What’s the biggest erroneous theory that evidence has led scientists to currently maintain?
5. What happened to Amelia Earhart during her fateful flight?
6. How can we [humans] accurately predict the formation and path of a tornado?
7. Is there a cure for cancer? And if so, what is it?
8. JFK assassination. Conspiracy theory nut jobs, or conspiracy theory geniuses?
9. What is consciousness? And how does the brain generate it?
10. How can we ideologically defeat the Islamic State without bloodshed? [surely, God could answer that question]
11. And similarly, what are the causes of wars and conflicts, and how can we avoid them?
12. Are there any real cryptids? Or are they all just fictional creatures?
13. Who assassinated Rafic Hariri?
14. Are there other planets with life on them?
15. Similarly, how can we make interstellar travel possible and feasible?
16. What’s your favorite band or musical artist? [Genuinely curious]
17. Similarly, why and how do we create music?
18. Why do humans span wide spectrums between sexual and gender identities?
19. Jurassic Park franchise theme: Possible or impossible? If possible, would it be ill advised? Personally, I want to see a dinosaur.
20. How many predictions—if any—did Futurama get right?
21. Was the Cold War a fluke? Or did the concept of mutually assured destruction really prevent a global nuclear war?
22. I want to travel into the future. How can I do that?
23. I’m a righty. My girlfriend is a lefty. My sister is ambidextrous. Why is dexterity so diverse?
24. What are the mechanisms that led humans to have different blood types?
25. Big rip, big crunch, or big freeze? Or something else?
26. How many universes are there?
27. And if there are more than one, how can we take an inter-universe holiday?
28. Why do I need sleep?
29. Is there a way to bridge the left-right divide in politics? [US because I live there, but also generally]
30. Is there a cure for depression and mental illness?
31. Who killed Bob Crane?
32. What causes state corruption?
33. Is there an energy source that will provide for our energy needs as long as humanity survives?
34. Is there a cure for baldness? [I’m sure many of you would like an answer]
35. How can we increase human life expectancy to 200 years or more?
36. What questions should I ask you?

Personally, if I met God I would be so amazed by the wealth of knowledge s/he has that I would begin seeking answers to things that I’ve always pondered. Why ask about the meaning of suffering (meaningless question) when we can ask how to stop it (meaningful question)?