According to the bible, don’t read the bible

Most of us can only recount five or six stories from the bible. Why? Because many of us have not read the bible. Why? Because it’s incredibly boring. For example, check out Genesis 10:1-32, which is a tedious list of people born after the flood. Genealogies, such as this, are quite common in the bible. Check out Genesis 11:10-3225:12-18, 36:1-43, and 46:8-27.

The genealogies don’t end in Genesis. Here’s a quick list of a lot of other genealogies found in the bible: Numbers 1:5-43, Numbers 2:1-34 (actually a list of military commanders, but similar to a genealogy), Numbers 3:17-37, Numbers 13:4-15, Numbers 26:5-9, Numbers 26:12-37, Numbers 26:57-601 Chronicles 2:8-551 Chronicles 3:1-241 Chronicles 4:1-371 Chronicles 5:3-171 Chronicles 6:1-811 Chronicles 7:1-401 Chronicles 8:1-401 Chronicles 9:1-441 Chronicles 11:26-471 Chronicles 24:1-312 Chronicles 7:1-232 Chronicles 8:1-36, and of course Luke 3:23-38 and Matthew 1:1–17 (the genealogies of Jesus).

This list is incomplete. The bible is rife with genealogies and other boring lists of men.

So what? So the bible has some boring lists, what’s that got to do with anything?

Well, the bible says to avoid endless genealogies. 1 Timothy 1:4 and Titus 3:9 both warn against reading such things. In fact, Titus is very damning about genealogies. “But avoid foolish questions, and genealogies, and contentions, and strivings about the law; for they are unprofitable and vain.” In other words, parts of the bible are “unprofitable and vain.”

If we subscribe to such a policy against reading genealogies, parts of the bible then become difficult to justify. But then again, Christians might do well to heed these warnings; ignoring genealogies makes Jesus’ genealogy contradiction invisible. But ignoring parts of the bible is especially ill-advised for a follower of the bible. This qualifies as a genuine conundrum: follow the bible and ignore it, or read the bible and disobey it?

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Bible Contradictions #10: Where is the devil?

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Where is the “devil”? The bible’s not certain. 2 Peter 2:4 and Jude 1:6 both clearly state that the devil and his angels have been thrown into darkness, where they shall remain in chains until judgement day. Job 1:7, Job 2:2, and 1 Peter 5:8 show the devil loose from these chains, walking about on earth, tempting human beings. Indeed, in 1 Peter, he might actually take the form of a hungry lion, chasing down drunk people for snacks. Go ahead, click the link and see for yourself.

This contradiction also appears in my video:

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Don’t believe in god? Run for president!

I got my undergraduate degree in Political Science. Thus, much of my professional network is made up of elected officials and people vying for office. I also have a lot of other atheist friends and acquaintances. Often, more than one might expect, these two circles overlap. I can’t count the number of times I’ve sat down at a bar with a School Board official or someone running for City Council and talked about our non-belief.

The problem is that none of my politically minded friends are “out” about their non-belief. Instead, they take part in the Pledge of Allegiance at the beginning of every meeting, proclaiming that this is “one nation, under god” and bowing their heads during public prayers. To do otherwise, they explain, would be to end their careers before reaching their potential. Indeed, long-term US Senator Barney Frank came out as gay in 1987 but kept his atheism bottled up until after leaving office.

This is a problem currently without any remedy. In 2012 two separate Gallup polls showed similar results. In one, 54% of Americans would vote for an atheist president. The other showed only 45% would. Even if we’re optimists and focus on the half full glass, that’s still pretty damning for any would be atheist candidate. To immediately lose 45% of the vote is almost certainly a death knell for presidential aspirations.

This is why I am against atheists, even atheists in public office, who refuse to step out of the closet. Atheists might be few in numbers, but they are growing. Last year those claiming no religion hit the 20% mark. That is one out of 5 Americans. If 46% of Americans refuse to vote us into office, it’s likely that it’s because they don’t realize how many of us there are. To put this number into perspective, there are more religiously unaffiliated people in the US than there are blacks and Asians combined. That’s about 62,000,000, almost double the population of California! There are almost as many religiously unaffiliated people as there are Catholics. The number, while small, is actually quite significant.

While, religious non-affiliation does not necessarily mean atheist, agnostic, or any other identifiable religious belief, it does show an increasing acceptance of secularism in the US. I believe this is the perfect point in US history for all non-believers to publicly self-identify as atheist, agnostic, secularist, spiritual, or whatever their belief system (or lack thereof) is.

The religious right in America needs to accept that as we continue to grow and mature, faith will become less important, and more secular social issues will continue to come to the forefront of the public discussion. Refusing to vote us into office won’t stop this natural progression into secularism.

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Bible Contradictions #9: Who is to blame for original sin?

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The bible appears to be unsure who to blame for original sin entering the world. Abrahamic theists of the world, worry not. This time I’ll also link a Christian response to this contradiction. In it they write “Each one dies, not because of original sin (a phrase which is foreign to the Bible), but because of his own sin (Eze 18:4, 20).” I call BS. I’m pretty sure that even a person without “sin” would die, that is, if medical science is any indication. Furthermore, if this is the case why would babies die from SIDS?

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Bible Contradictions #8: Does god listen to prayers?

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Psalm 22:24, 46:1, and 145:18, and Nahum 1:7 each suggest that god helps those who pray to him. Indeed, faithful everywhere often turn to god for help when life becomes difficult. They believe that if they pray hard enough, their morbidly obese, chain smoking, alcoholic uncle will survive his fifth heart attack.

Elsewhere in the bible, however, god is found numerous times to look at man’s suffering with nonchalance, despite their prayers. God forsakes man in 1 Samuel 8:18Psalm 10:1Psalm 22:1-2Isaiah 1:15Isaiah 45:15Ezekiel 20:3Habakkuk 1:2, and Hosea 5:6.

In conclusion, you can’t count on god to cure that cancer currently wreaking havoc on your gastrointestinal tract. Although he listens to everyone who calls out to him, sometimes he doesn’t. You’d better play it safe and see a doctor.

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Bible Contradictions #7: Do boys have to be circumcised?

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Circumcision is a controversial subject that is moving more out of vogue due to its association with genital mutilation. Leviticus puts the matter strictly within the purview of divine law. Then Paul comes along and abolishes circumcision in Galatians. Then again, Paul is a hypocrite because he circumcised Timothy. Even in the bible, the matter is still disputed.

Bringing this into the real world, unfortunately we have no answers at this point in time. But basing your decision to have your son circumcised on religious belief (if you’re a Christian) is quite silly.

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But I’ve been to Tyre: The problem of the existence of a city god promised would never be rebuilt

Prophecy Writing Pro Tip#57: Don’t promise that a beautiful beach will never be inhabited by man again.

Tyre (Sur in Lebanese) is a very old inhabited city in the South of Lebanon. It has one of the most beautiful beaches in the world that is enjoyed both by tourists and its almost 175,000 residents, making it about the same size population-wise as Providence, RI. It’s a short drive away from Beirut and about 12 miles from Palestine.

Ezekiel 26 speaks of god’s utter destruction of Tyre. So complete is this destruction that god promises that Tyre will never again be inhabited. “And they shall destroy the walls of Tyre, and break down her towers: I will also scrape her dust from her, and make her a bare rock…I will make thee a terror, and thou shalt be no more: though thou be sought for, yet shalt thou never be found again, saith the Lord GOD.”

Here’s what god’s destructive power and predictability look like today:

tyre-harborSOURCE

In the image above a man stands on a harbor in Tyre. In the background stand several Mediterranean style buildings of the modern era. Here’s another picture:

tyre-lebanon

SOURCE

These images don’t look anything like what we’d expect to see on an uninhabited “bare rock.” Indeed, I know personally how beautiful Tyre is. Here’s a photo of me from a few years ago on the beach in Tyre:

rayan in sur

In other words, god’s prophecy about Tyre is wrong. The city sure as hell rebuilt itself. In fact, it must have rebuilt itself by Jesus’ time; it’s mentioned in the New Testament when Jesus visited the city. See also Mark 7:24 and Acts 21:3.

I’ve read some rebuttals about the Ezekiel prophesy of Tyre. Actually, there’s really only two, and both are convoluted attempts to change the meanings of words such as “they.” No, it seems merely that the people who wrote the bible didn’t realize the power of a city with beaches that compel tourists to take their clothes off.

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Bible Contradictions #6: How did David kill Goliath?

This follows my most recent Bible Contradictions post. This is one of my favorite contradictions because it contradicts itself in a single breath! First, David uses his sling and a rock to fell the beast. Next, he pulls out a sword to cut his head off. Notice that both verses say that David “slew” him, meaning he killed Goliath twice. Words matter, friends.

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There is also the issue of the sword. When looking into this contradiction, I’ve heard of others make the argument that the first verse implies that David had no sword, while the other explicitly states that he did. That’s a stretch. But either way, David literally (if you believe the bible is the literal word of god) killed Goliath twice.

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Bible Contradictions #5: Who slew Goliath?

The David v. Goliath story is a great one–the little man defeating a giant. It is often used as a metaphor for other modern day feats, such as a small business owner winning a lawsuit against a major corporation. Alas, it’s been attributed to–not just David–but also Elhanan.

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It should also be noted that the King James version of the bible adds the words “brother of” in 2 Samuel 21:19, making it appear that Elhanan slew Goliath’s brother. But this was nothing more than an attempt to fix a glaring contradiction.

Next time I’ll look at how David allegedly brought down the giant.

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Bible Contradictions #4: Is only god holy?

Revelation 15:4 has us believe that only god is holy, yet in Revelation 22:11 it reverses itself. The bible also contains several other passages that contradict Revelation 15:4. This one, however, is the most important because both verses are taken from the same book!

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