Tag Archives: absurdities in the bible

Bible Contradictions #45: How did Antiochus die?

Antiochus IV Epiphanes is a moderately important bible character, even though he doesn’t even appear in many versions of the bible. Antiochus is the main antagonist in the war against the Jews that culminated in the events that are now … Continue reading

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Book of Ezra can’t do simple addition

We learn to add one plus one before we even start our schooling. By time we’re ten we should be able to perform relatively complicated arithmetic. So the following math problem should not be too difficult for anyone: 30 + 1,000 … Continue reading

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An entire book of the bible is a trashy romance novel bordering on pornography

Song of Songs (or Song of Solomon) is one of the more interesting books of Judeo-Christian-Islamic* canon. It’s pretty much porn. The “song” is allegedly about Mick Jagger’s “Brown Sugar” … ahem. It’s about a black woman … Well, it’s … Continue reading

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Paul literally likens the Jews with Satan in his first epistle to the Thessalonians

The Christian persecution complex goes way, way back. Even in Paul’s day, he blamed the Jews for his difficulties in spreading Jesus’ words. We must look to 1 Thessalonians 2 to understand how frustrated Paul was. Skip to the end, … Continue reading

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God kills millions because of their private thoughts (also, angels and humans get it on)

I’ve recently been tasked to read an analyze Genesis 6 (particularly verse 5, but I’m not going to cherry pick a bible verse here). A little background info: In a recent post there was a back and forth between a fellow atheist … Continue reading

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The New Testament’s one real opportunity to condemn slavery; Paul does the Christian thing (and returns a runaway slave to his master)

Everyone knows that the bible, especially the Old Testament, condones slavery at every twist and turn. Indeed, it makes zero mentions or suggestions that slavery might be a bad thing. At every opportunity to condemn slavery, god instead condemns gathering … Continue reading

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Fat people should commit suicide (according to the bible)

I stumbled across this blog post today by Violetwisp. (Thanks for bringing this to my attention!) In it, the author points out a problematic proverb. For reasons unknown I usually avoid proverbs. They are incredibly boring (well, so is the … Continue reading

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Former Christians are literally the antichrist(s) (according to the bible)

We’ve all heard the word “antichrist” before. The word conjures up images of armageddon, scenes from Rosemary’s Baby, and, in some circles, President Obama. But what actually is the antichrist? Well, to answer this we need only look at 1 and … Continue reading

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The Cape Buffalo is a very dangerous beast: The bible says they can be kept as pets

The Cape Buffalo is among the most lethal and dangerous animals known to humans. In fact, Cape Buffalos kill more humans in Africa than any other animal. They are enormous, weighing 1.5 tons, almost two meters high and three meters … Continue reading

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Bible Absurdities: Hebrews 7 says that a king from thousands of years ago is still alive

Hebrews chapter seven (Catholic bible linked) starts out by reciting a tale about Abraham after his Slaughter of the Kings (Genesis 14). We again meet King Melchizedek, one of the kings who won the war and in return gave Abraham a ton … Continue reading

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