Tag Archives: Bible Absurdities

Book of Ezra can’t do simple addition

Posted on May 20, 2014 by Rayan Zehn

We learn to add one plus one before we even start our schooling. By time we’re ten we should be able to perform relatively complicated arithmetic. So the following math problem should not be too difficult for anyone: 30 + 1,000 … Continue reading →

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An entire book of the bible is a trashy romance novel bordering on pornography

Posted on May 15, 2014 by Rayan Zehn

Song of Songs (or Song of Solomon) is one of the more interesting books of Judeo-Christian-Islamic* canon. It’s pretty much porn. The “song” is allegedly about Mick Jagger’s “Brown Sugar” … ahem. It’s about a black woman … Well, it’s … Continue reading →

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Paul literally likens the Jews with Satan in his first epistle to the Thessalonians

Posted on April 29, 2014 by Rayan Zehn

The Christian persecution complex goes way, way back. Even in Paul’s day, he blamed the Jews for his difficulties in spreading Jesus’ words. We must look to 1 Thessalonians 2 to understand how frustrated Paul was. Skip to the end, … Continue reading →

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God kills millions because of their private thoughts (also, angels and humans get it on)

Posted on April 21, 2014 by Rayan Zehn

I’ve recently been tasked to read an analyze Genesis 6 (particularly verse 5, but I’m not going to cherry pick a bible verse here). A little background info: In a recent post there was a back and forth between a fellow atheist … Continue reading →

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Sharing a prophet’s grave: An accidental resurrection in the bible

Posted on April 15, 2014 by Rayan Zehn

According to Acts 26:23 and 1 Corinthians 15:20, Jesus was the first person to be resurrected. But actually, if you go by the bible, many, many people were resurrected before Jesus rose from the dead. I’m not here to point out … Continue reading →

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The New Testament’s one real opportunity to condemn slavery; Paul does the Christian thing (and returns a runaway slave to his master)

Posted on April 6, 2014 by Rayan Zehn

Everyone knows that the bible, especially the Old Testament, condones slavery at every twist and turn. Indeed, it makes zero mentions or suggestions that slavery might be a bad thing. At every opportunity to condemn slavery, god instead condemns gathering … Continue reading →

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Fat people should commit suicide (according to the bible)

Posted on March 29, 2014 by Rayan Zehn

I stumbled across this blog post today by Violetwisp. (Thanks for bringing this to my attention!) In it, the author points out a problematic proverb. For reasons unknown I usually avoid proverbs. They are incredibly boring (well, so is the … Continue reading →

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The Cape Buffalo is a very dangerous beast: The bible says they can be kept as pets

Posted on March 15, 2014 by Rayan Zehn

The Cape Buffalo is among the most lethal and dangerous animals known to humans. In fact, Cape Buffalos kill more humans in Africa than any other animal. They are enormous, weighing 1.5 tons, almost two meters high and three meters … Continue reading →

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Living Bible promises completely useless rewards

Posted on March 11, 2014 by Rayan Zehn

Yesterday after work I opened up Facebook and saw the following post by one of my friends. I gave a quick reply. It took me a while to track down this verse. I opened my Catholic bibles instead because I was … Continue reading →

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Bible Absurdities: Hebrews 7 says that a king from thousands of years ago is still alive

Posted on March 9, 2014 by Rayan Zehn

Hebrews chapter seven (Catholic bible linked) starts out by reciting a tale about Abraham after his Slaughter of the Kings (Genesis 14). We again meet King Melchizedek, one of the kings who won the war and in return gave Abraham a ton … Continue reading →

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