Why I chose to be an atheist

Actually, I didn’t fucking choose to be an atheist. I never woke up one morning and said “I’m going to stop believing in god.” But it’s an argument I hear all too often. From both sides. Religious folk and non-believers alike say things like “You can believe whatever you want to believe.”

No.

You believe what it is natural for you to believe based on the information you have in front of you.

The only choice in the matter is the choice to explore, to seek knowledge, to read a god damned book. This is the issue I have with people who make decisions based on religion. Religious teachings often conflict with what the evidence tells us, but religious leaders and practitioners often disregard the evidence because they don’t understand it. They choose to be ignorant.

That said, I suppose there’s one more choice out there too. If one believes in a certain dogma–regardless of whether they’ve been educated or not–they still have a choice in how they treat people.

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This is why dogs aren’t allowed in Mecca

The other day I joined a conversation online about Islam. Mecca came up as part of the debate. I’m not sure why I did it, but I jumped over to photoshop and hammered out a quick meme to inject into the debate. I thought it was too funny to not share it here. Enjoy, heathens!

dog copy

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Counting down the final days in the 2013 War on Christmas, victory seems unlikely

Atheist Warriors in America, it is with a saddened heart that I officially acknowledge our defeat in the 2013 annual War on Christmas. This might be a little early, considering that Xmas is still a week away, and we definitely have the ability to land a few more blows against Jesus, but let’s face it; victory is not nigh. This post serves as a lessons-learned for future campaigns against the God Warriors.

It’s been two years since we lost our beloved leader, the fearless Major General Christopher Hitchens. Since then we’ve struggled to reorganize, and the Jesus team has recently promoted two new Generals, Michelle Bachman and Sarah Palin, who recently drafted a frightening campaign against atheist heathens. This is a crushing blow against the Nation of Atheism.

Our battle against Jesus was doomed last week when a First Lieutenant from the 2nd Field Regiment of the Royal Army of Christ attacked a private from the Salvation Army. Private Kristina Vindiola, in a rare move from a Christian, pushed for secularism by saying “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas” and was immediately assaulted by the more fundamentalist branch of the Christian Military. This proves that the Christian Military is unwilling to accept secular approaches to their war strategy. We should expect more terrorist tactics in years to come.

From then on things continued to get worse. Five star General of the Christian Armies Bill O’Reilly even understood this. In fact, this week he officially announced victory in the war. General O’Reilly announced a permanent victory, not just a victory over this campaign. “We attacked them [the atheists]. We challenged them … We just won” the General said on Christian propaganda television station Fox News.

Fox News Col. Megyn Kelly also scored a victory for the Christians when she used “historical fact” to prove that both Santa and Jesus were white dudes. This so impressed General O’Reilly that he has put in a recommendation for Kelly’s promotion to a one star general. If this happens, the Atheist Army will face a foe the likes of which we’ve never seen: Brains… no wait. The other one. Beauty.

Thankfully, however, we had our own share of victories. For example, the Secretary of Atheist Defense Sam Harris this year signed a rare peace treaty with both President Lucien Greaves of the Nation of Lucifer and the de facto President of the Atheist occupied Festivusian Territories, Mr. Chaz Stevens. These alliances will merge our armies into the Coalition of Reason. Brigadier General David Silverman, who defected from the Jewish Nation of Atheism, is on the short list to lead the coalition to war against Christians in 2014.

Despite our defeat, 2014 is another chance to kill Christianity once and for all. Next year we’ll attack them when they least expect it: Easter. Oh wait. They already know we’re coming.

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I don’t even…

I stumbled across a news article about the EU’s response to Israeli construction on the West Bank. I scrolled down to the comments and found this:

white homosexual jews

I refreshed the page and found several more like it from the same author. I’m not sure if this is poe or a real opinion.

I’m not saying that atheists don’t say dumb shit from time to time, but I’ve only seen religion make people say things this stupid.

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Can I be an atheist in Lebanon?

The International Humanist and Ethical union released an interactive map showing that in Lebanon atheists face “severe discrimination” and prison time for blasphemy. Maybe this is true, but hopefully not.

I lived for a time off of Makdessi Street in Hamra in Beirut, Lebanon. I was open about my atheism in Lebanon, even identifying myself as an atheist on official Lebanese government forms. In fact, I found the Lebanese people were either atheists themselves or completely non-judgmental about atheists. Lebanon has been fractured along sectarian lines for decades, maybe longer, and it came as no surprise to me that many would view atheism as an acceptable alternative to religion.

Unfortunately, Lebanon has a far way to go. In 2007 a Gallup Poll was conducted that suggests that 86% of the Lebanese people think that religion is an important part of their lives, which is higher than Texas (see link)!

is religion importantI would hypothesize, however, that this number would drop significantly if the question was “Is god an important part of your daily life?”

I rarely–if ever–heard about god in Lebanon. No one spoke about god; they spoke about religion. Even when I was stopped by the police because I was drunk and staggering around at 4:00 AM, the police first asked my last name, then my religion. I would say atheist. They would then ask for my parents’ religion. It had nothing to do with god; the police wanted to place me in a predetermined category.

In other words, while religion is important to the Lebanese, god is not necessarily important.

Indeed, I wandered over to a facebook page called the Atheist Society of Lebanon. The first thing I noticed is that a lot of my friends have liked the page. Also of note is Lebanon’s robust secular movement, made up of young people from all three religions.

Mideast LebanonSOURCE

There is also a barebones website called Lebanese Atheists, which claims “YES! WE DO EXIST.”

lebanese-atheists

To conclude this ramble, while atheism might be discriminated against in Lebanon, I saw none of it. Secularism and atheism, from my experience, seem to be on the rise in this tiny Middle Eastern country. I expect to continue to see this rise.

Now if only Hezbollah can get on board!

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What happens when children learn about Saint Nicolas?

A 10-year-old kid was asking me about Santa in front of his dad the other day. The father is agnostic, and I’m atheist, so this was an uncomfortable conversation for both of the adults. I politely told the boy that I don’t get presents from Santa because I don’t believe in god. The boy, whose mother is devout, chirped “Santa proves god is real because without god there can’t be any magic.” I bit my tongue, alongside the father, not wishing to feel his mother’s wrath.

On my other blog, I previously wrote about how learning that Santa was fake is what really secured my spot on a path towards atheism. I’ll leave that discussion on that post and move on to something else that I saw in the news today.

santa vs cat

A vicar with the Church of England was slated to give a sermon to a room filled with young children. When technical problems occurred, he couldn’t give his planned speech and opted to speak from his heart instead. He told the kids that Santa wasn’t real, but instead was based on a man who brought back to life three young boys who had been butchered for food. Naturally, the children were upset and so were the parents.

What is uncertain is whether the parents were upset more by the gory details or by a Church official spilling the beans that Santa is a myth. While the vicar substituted one myth for another, at least the Saint Nicolas myth of resurrecting three hacked up corpses is part of church canon. But the Santa myth is merely a story that–at best–is meant to entertain children, and–at worst–meant to indoctrinate them (see opening paragraph).

I believe honesty goes a long way towards building a relationship. It’s better for parents to tell children the truth about Santa than it is to lie to them, potentially breaking their hearts when the truth inevitably comes to light. I’m not sure if that’s the job of the Church of England or not, but parents should take a cue from this vicar.

I’m curious. Do you feel that the Santa myth is harmless? Or should children be raised without this myth?

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New atheism’s new tool in the ‘War on Christmas’

A tongue-in-cheek Youtube video is making the rounds on the Internet, poking fun at the alleged ‘War on Christmas’ that we hear about each December. The video takes a satyrical look at those claiming that the war is real and suggests that a real war would look inherently different. See the video below:

Better Off Damned, the group responsible for the video, shows us that those alleging a war on Christmas don’t know what war looks like. The need for inclusivity during the holiday season is not an affront to the personal religious freedoms enjoyed by Christians in the United States. Rather, the need for inclusivity is a cornerstone of the American Constitution, which explicitly provides equal rights for religious minorities, even those who do not believe.

I, for one, believe that Better Off Damned has done something remarkable. The group has not only shown what a real war on Christmas would look like; it has also forced us to consider the dangers associated with monopolized religion. I commend the group for this achievement.

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The last words of Jesus: the problem of the prophesy

This, my first post on this new religion-themed blog, is not meant to argue that the bible is wrong. I believe it’s wrong, but that’s just my take. Instead, this is meant as an introduction to the Atheist Papers. This new blog is designed to welcome the free exchange of ideas from all walks: bible literalists to militant atheists and people of all religious and spiritual beliefs. I’ll never criticize a person in these posts, and I expect my readers to do the same. Ideas, on the other hand, even mine, are open to criticism. I’ll start out by criticizing the crucifixion of Jesus.

I don’t believe Jesus actually existed. I don’t see any evidence. But the story is in the bible, which is often used as evidence (for what I believe are logical fallacies, but more on that at a later time). The story is pretty straightforward. We’ve heard it a hundred times. Eventually, he was nailed (or tied) to a cross (or a tree or wooden post) and left to die a slow, suffocating death. During these hours of suffocation, Jesus is said to have uttered short statements, generally assumed to be Jesus’ last words. His alleged final words are recorded as seven sentences between three (or four) books: Matthew/Mark, Luke, and John. In this post I will only address the Matthew and Mark verses and their implications.

Matthew/Mark

Both Matthew 27:46 and Mark 15:34 write identical last words. This verse is especially important, considering it appears twice in the new testament and refers back to King David in Psalm 22:1.

About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?”(which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”).

It is standard belief in Christianity that Jesus is one of three manifestations of a single supernatural agency that we refer to as the god of Abraham. If this is accepted, then to whom is Jesus speaking? Is he saying “Why have I forsaken myself?”

Even if we dismiss this–i.e., god and Jesus are two separate supernatural agencies–then it still means something troublesome to Christianity. It is a question that challenges the prophesy of the death and eventual resurrection of a messiah. Jesus is supposed to have predicted these exact events in Mark, Matthew, and Luke. Jesus must have known that this was a part of a prophesied plan. Indeed, he did. It was in the old testament. He needed not ask why.

If we go back to the original assumption–that Jesus and god are the same–then Jesus’ question on the cross indicates ignorance. God is supposed to be all knowing, which is something repeated in the bible at least 138 times. An all knowing god would not need to ask himself such questions.

Let’s finally assume that everything above is wrong. Jesus did know. The question implies something else that I have not considered. I will accept that as a possibility. But even if I am wrong on every account, it does nothing to bridge the gap between Jesus’ sacrifice and what a sacrifice really is. God sent himself to earth as Jesus, knew he would be executed and resurrected a few days later and ascend back to heaven to take his seat next to himself. That doesn’t sound like a sacrifice to me. It sounds like winning the lottery, but even better! If the Jesus story is true, then, as I’ve written before on a different blog, it was a ridiculously complicated scheme to do something really, really simple, especially for an all powerful god: forgive mankind their sins.

To conclude, I’ll offer one final piece of criticism: If the crucifixion story is true, it’s rather meaningless. I’d chalk it up to a constructed hero. Everyone needs a hero, even if they’re dead.

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