Relationships are about love, not Jesus

I found this image floating around on the Internet the other day.

love jesus more than me

At first I chuckled, but then I realized how messed up this image is. The author of this image (and indeed anyone who agrees with it) is essentially saying they agree to be thrown under the bus in their relationships in the name of Jesus. Even worse, they show a level of bigotry. Relationships do not center around belief in supernatural agencies, as this image implies. Religious belief might play a role in the growth of many relationships, but it should not be a prerequisite to any official attestation of love.

A good and moral person will, on the other hand, ignore religious differences in relationships. Indeed, there are many cases of interfaith marriages. Catholics marry Protestants. Jews marry Muslims. Believers marry non-believers. In each case of interfaith marriage or relationship, we see that religion is no more important than skin color, height, weight, or musical talent.

Yet this image perfectly captures the essence of religious extremism. It calls for exclusion based on one single criterion; love Jesus first, then we’ll talk. The entire non-Christian world (all 5 billion of us) is excluded as the out-group simply because of beliefs that are beyond our control.

Some Christian apologists might claim that this image holds merit. They might see marriage or their relationships as a means with which to raise good Christian children. But that’s my whole point. Raising Christian children is no more important than raising children in general. The Christian in-group is no more special than the rest of the human race.

Religion is not a prerequisite to relationships. Love is a prerequisite for relationships.

 

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Big Bang Evidence: When science is co-opted by religion

I was delighted by the news yesterday that the “smoking gun” in evidence for the Big Bang has been observed by cosmologists. After work I read through several news articles reporting the findings. Many of these articles allowed user comments, so I wandered down to the bottom of the page and began reading through many of them. What I observed was, needless to say, quite frustrating.

It appears that some religious people, who find it more and more difficult to reconcile their beliefs with breakthroughs in cosmology (or any other field), are co-opting science to “prove” their ideas about god. I’ve provided many examples at the bottom of this post.

What frustrated me about their comments is that it shows evidence to the idea that many religious people will change their minds about anything except their religion. I would even go so far as to posit that they would not change their minds about religion if we built a time machine and proved them 100% wrong.

But furthermore, these findings do not in any way validate the Judeo-Christian religions. If anything, these findings cast more doubt over the book of Genesis. As I’ve mentioned before, Genesis is very specific about the universe: The earth is at its center. It is surrounded by a physical dome-shaped apparatus with holes in it (the stars) through which heavenly water falls to the earth as rain. Above that physical dome sits god and heaven. We have already proved this part of the bible wrong (hundreds of years ago). The Big Bang Theory provides us with an observable and testable methodology for determining how and when the universe actually began. This theory guts the creation story in the bible. Finding the “smoking gun” to support this theory essentially completely annihilates the hypotheses claimed in the book of Genesis. It does not support obviously useless biblical hypotheses, despite what the following Internet users believe.

bobwyatt donald edwardteach gregarnot guitar2 irwingraulich kevinshaughnessy markwylie peterngunyi victorkincannon youcannotkeepyourdoctor

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According to the Quran, Allah tricked everyone into joining a fake religion (Christianity)

Jesus is a very important figure in Islam. Muslims believe that the bible is 100% correct regarding everything about Jesus, except, of course, the things the bible got wrong. Namely, Jesus was not the son of god. He was merely a prophet, a prophet whose second coming will bring about Allah’s judgement on the human race. So how does the Quran deal with the contradiction between Islam and Christianity regarding the divinity of Jesus? It was all an illusion!

In the fourth book of the Quran, al-Nisa (or “The Women”), we are told that Jesus never died on the cross. Instead, Allah is a gifted trickster. Behold:

4:157 And [for] their saying, “Indeed, we have killed the Messiah, Jesus, the son of Mary, the messenger of Allah.” And they did not kill him, nor did they crucify him; but [another] was made to resemble him to them. And indeed, those who differ over it are in doubt about it. They have no knowledge of it except the following of assumption. And they did not kill him, for certain.

4:158 Rather, Allah raised him to Himself. And ever is Allah Exalted in Might and Wise.

As some of you might remember, I have two Muslim roommates, one of whom prays at the Mosque down the street everyday (he’s ultra, ultra religious). I brought these verses to his attention. He offered me the following explanation.

For reasons never explained, Allah couldn’t wait a few more days for Jesus to be executed. He needed Jesus in heaven right away. But he also needed Jesus to be executed. The solution? Snatch Jesus from earth right now and pick some poor sap, some innocent bystander, to wear Jesus’ face long enough to fool the executioners and the Jews.

In completing this absurd trick, Allah must’ve known the following: The crucifixion of Jesus would be used to create Christianity, the largest religion the world has ever known–a false religion, mind you. So it was all a ruse to trick people into following the wrong religion. Unfortunately for these cursed Christian souls, Allah waited another 600 years before bothering to mention that the Divine Jesus myth in the bible was all a lie.

Allah takes his April Fools jokes very, very seriously.

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The Cape Buffalo is a very dangerous beast: The bible says they can be kept as pets

The Cape Buffalo is among the most lethal and dangerous animals known to humans. In fact, Cape Buffalos kill more humans in Africa than any other animal. They are enormous, weighing 1.5 tons, almost two meters high and three meters long. If threatened they will charge you at 35 miles per hour and slice you in half with razor sharp horns. Its nickname in Africa is the Black Death.

most-dangerous-game-cape-buffalo

SOURCE

It is unwise to attempt to interact with a Cape Buffalo. Many hunters and photographers have met untimely deaths by getting too close to these murderous creatures. Any attempt to domesticate a Cape Buffalo will end in death, probably for your entire neighborhood.

So why then does the Epistle of James claim that humans can tame (and have tamed) the Cape Buffalo? According to James 3:7, “For every species of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by the human species.” In other words, there is no animal on the planet that has not been and cannot be subdued to the point of domestication.

To be fair this verse seems a little out of place. James 3 is about how the tongue can be used to corrupt men. Suddenly, for no apparent reason James suddenly says “But we can use our tongue to tame animals; that’s cool. Just don’t try to corrupt man.”

Anyway, I digress. There are more species of animals than we can count that cannot be tamed, domesticated, or humanly socialized under any circumstances. Even where we see extremely dangerous animals such as lions and elephants in circuses, they are not tamed. They are responding to negative reinforcement, and have numerous times snapped and killed scores of people.

If you trust the bible, go out and try it. Try to tame a Cape Buffalo, a Kodiak Bear, an Asian Cobra, a Great White Shark, a Hyena, or a Wild Boar. I guarantee you that, despite James 3:7, your tongue will be useless against the viciousness of these incredible killing machines. You’ll either be dead or maimed.

Obviously the bible wasn’t written by zoologists. James has absolutely no idea how animals behave.

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Response to apologist’s idea that we should submit to god’s daily calendar, even if it means someone dies

Fellow blogger, the one-person evangelical army, altruistico, recently published a blog titled “How God Reveals His Presence.” I think most atheist bloggers are familiar with altruistico’s good-natured, yet incredibly condescending, posts and comments. But I always enjoy reading posts with fantastic claims, so I clicked it and gave it a once over, and then a twice over, and ad nauseam.

I usually don’t respond to other blogs, but the implications of this one compelled me to act. I get to that in the second part of this post. First, I’ll handle some administrative matters.

First, altruistico claims that god can, in fact, be experienced. This claim is absurd because anything that can be experienced can be measured, and since no one has been able to measure these divine “observations,” then we can rule them out until such measurements may be gathered. If god can interact with the natural world, then god ceases to be supernatural. Therefore, divine observations should be able to be measured.

Altruistico might respond that god has not been measured because he appears to us in the spiritual world, not the physical world. This might be a valid point if not for the fact that the “spiritual world” is merely an hypothesis that, like divine observations, cannot be measured and therefore have no place in objective discussion. In other words, people who claim that a spiritual world exists do so without evidence. The same can be said about their claims to divine observations.

But what stopped me in my tracks, mouth agape, rubbing my eyes together in disbelief is the second way in which Altruistico claims to experience god. Here it is with added emphasis on the ridiculous parts:

God sends a message. Sometimes the Lord lays on a person’s heart the need to get alone with Him. When this happens to me, God is usually saying He’s ready to give me a sermon. It is unwise to ignore such urgings or even to delay until a more “convenient” time—I have made the mistake of putting off listening only to discover that when I finally did slow down, the message was harder to receive outside of the Father’s perfect timing.

Believing that god has “perfect timing” that may contradict your own “convenient time” is to submit to the idea that if you feel god wanting to have a conversation with you, stop what you are doing, no matter what it is, and have a chat with god.

Your house is on fire. Your children have about a 30 second window to be rescued before their only escape path becomes engulfed in flames. You feel god knocking at your mind. Do you stop trying to rescue your children and invite god in for a cup of tea? Or do you ignore the rappings at your brain and save your children before it’s too late? According to altruistico, it may be “unwise” to try to save your children.

My example is quite extreme; I admit this. But the implication is true nonetheless. Altruistico and other apologists might make the claim that “god knows what he’s doing. If my children are in danger he can both have a conversation with me and save them at the same time.” This is dangerous because when another person’s life is in danger, the only assumption we can make is that direct action must be taken to save that person’s life. Leaning on god in situations like that is a gross version of responsibility diffusion.

While my example is extreme, we can apply this elsewhere: Have a conversation with god instead of paying your taxes on time. Earn a penalty. Have a conversation with god instead of checking on the pie in your oven. Burn your pie. Have a conversation with god instead of keeping your social obligations. Suffer harm to your reputation. These may all be trivial (the opposite extreme), but they are true nonetheless.

If you want to pray because it helps you, go. Pray. Your life will be happier. But don’t stop to pray at inappropriate times because you fear that you might miss some of god’s words. That can harm you and others in many ways. There is nothing more important in this life than to enjoy life as much as possible in ways that produce the least amount of external harm as possible. So pray when it’s appropriate, altruistico, not when god demands it.

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Bible Contradictions #24: Is it ok to have a census?

Bible contradictions 24In the bible god seems a bit wishy washy when it comes to the census. David took a census and god got pretty angry by any standards. He murdered 70,000 people.

But when his son Solomon took a census of immigrants to Israel, god gave his implied approval by not murdering 70,000 people.

Indeed, in Numbers 26 god actually orders Moses to take a census. So that leaves us with three possibilities: 1) God wants us to take a census, 2) god is nonchalant towards the census, and 3) god abhors and responds with mass murder when we take a census.

If god exists it must be either number 1 or 2 because every state, regime, military, church, employee roster, and every other social institution have some form of a census. And yet, God has not said a word!

 

 

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Living Bible promises completely useless rewards

Yesterday after work I opened up Facebook and saw the following post by one of my friends. I gave a quick reply.

philippians

It took me a while to track down this verse. I opened my Catholic bibles instead because I was thrown off by the “St. Jude” moniker. The verse actually comes not from the Catholic traditions; rather, it comes from the Living Bible. Therefore, the scope of criticism in this post extends solely to the Living Bible.

In the Catholic bible (and most other Christian bibles) Philippians 4:7 announces that god’s peace will protect us. In the Living Bible, however, the verse is changed to read “If you do this, you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand.”

In other words, god will give you something that you won’t be able to comprehend or enjoy. What use is god’s peace to you if it is completely incomprehensible? The Living Bible (also known as the Bathroom Bible) is utter nonsense.

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Bible Absurdities: Hebrews 7 says that a king from thousands of years ago is still alive

Hebrews chapter seven (Catholic bible linked) starts out by reciting a tale about Abraham after his Slaughter of the Kings (Genesis 14). We again meet King Melchizedek, one of the kings who won the war and in return gave Abraham a ton of cash and some slaves. Of course Melchizedek’s gift to Abraham is omitted in Hebrews. Instead, it is Abraham who gives treasures to the king: One tenth of all the booty that he stole from the dead kings. But that’s not really all that surprising. It’s just another contradiction in a book littered with contradictions.

If we move to verse three we realize that Melchizedek of Salem literally had no father, no mother, no relatives, no birthdate, and, most surprisingly, no mortality. Meaning, he would literally never die. Meaning, if we look hard enough around the world, we’ll run face-to-face with Melchizedek, possibly in an Amsterdam coffee shop.

Some, such as evangelical Christians, believe that Melchizedek of Genesis was literally Jesus Christ. Others insist he was the physical avatar of the Holy Spirit. If that’s the case, it’s strange that Melchizedek is only mentioned three times in the bible (Genesis 14, Psalm 110, and Hebrews 7). I think that if Abraham had met Jesus or the Holy Spirit, the Old Testament would’ve focussed an insane amount of pages to Melchizedek. The New Testament too would have treated it with considerably more respect.

No, it appears to be merely a case of the bible claiming something absurd and impossible. And we can prove that it’s absurd and impossible because if Melchizedek was real, he’s unquestionably dead by now, despite the biblical promise that he would never die.

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Bible Contradictions #23: Can the devil capture us at will?

Bible contradictions 23

This one is not as straightforward as it seems, but there is a contradiction in there nonetheless. Bear with me. At face value the contradiction appears to be as follows: The devil can capture anyone at will/The devil will run away from those who resist him. But the contradiction is a little more subtle than that. Let’s first put these verses into context.

In 2 Timothy 2:26 Paul is in the middle of his crusade to spread Christianity. He comes across many non-Christians, who have no interest in his mission. Paul blames their stubbornness on being held captive by the devil, who blinds them to truth. Here, it’s implied that the devil can take them at will because they had never heard the gospels of Jesus.

In James 4:7, on the other hand, James is talking to Christians, who have already heard and accepted the gospels. The devil’s will to capture them is weak, so long as the Christians continue to resist him.

So in context, this appears to be not a contradiction. Sometimes, however, putting things into context exposes its weakness. It is generally accepted in Christianity that sin is the product of the devil, and (even leaving original sin to the side) it’s impossible to live sin free. James goes on and on about the sinfulness of Christians. So it should be accepted that when Christians resist but still commit sin, the devil is not fleeing from them. This would put Christians and non-Christians on the same level: the devil indeed tempts them to sin and doesn’t run away.

We can strike out the devil fleeing part from James, because obviously that’s not true.* That leaves us strictly with the question about the devil’s will to capture us. It can also be assumed that the devil successfully captures us by his own will when we commit sin. In 2 Timothy, Paul leads us to believe that it’s possible to free oneself from the clutches of the devil (even when he has captured us by will). Therefore, the answer is that the devil can capture us at will, but we may free ourselves from his clutches. James is merely a false contradiction.

*Don’t worry, none of it’s true. The devil doesn’t exist.

It would be better to believe that the devil doesn’t tempt us. Our failures and deeds are our own and not at the behest of a supernatural demon.

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Bible Absurdities: Paul wants annoying people to castrate themselves

Prolific penner Paul has some strong words for people who annoy Christians: Castrate yourselves! In Galatians 5 Paul is writing about circumcision. Apparently in his day circumcised people were mocked. This angered Paul so much that, in verse 12, he literally wished that everyone who annoys Christians would castrate themselves! At least in the Catholic bible. Many other translations of the bible merely say “cut off” without telling us what should be cut off. Others say they should “mutilate” themselves.

Regardless of how this verse is translated, Paul is wishing that certain people would physically harm themselves. At best we’re talking about wrist cutting. At worst Paul hopes that men will willingly cut their willies off.

In context, this verse is not saved by anything. The story goes as follows: Paul decided to make it his personal mission to travel around the Roman Empire, converting as many people as he could. Along the way he met quite a lot of resistance (from both non-Christians and non-circumcised Christians alike). When he brought up the circumcision issue, many people mocked him. Paul then cried “Christian freedom!” in an attempt to convince the others. When this failed he wished them self-harm.

I don’t know about you, but that doesn’t seem very Christlike to me.

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